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MINISTRY LEADERSHIP
The Church's Role in Helping Teenagers Listen for God's Call
by Tommy Justus
My wife becomes anxious when our children get out of earshot. She likes to be able to call out and hear a response, whether they are in the house or in the yard. Even when they are at school or at a friend’s house, she likes to call and know where they are. I tease her constantly that when I was a child, I would leave home and not return until mealtime. We lived in the country, and I am sure I wandered for miles. I realize now that there is no true difference between my wife’s concern and my mother’s concern: both want to know their children are safe and accounted for. If my mother needed me and I was beyond our yard, she called an aunt, cousin, or grandparent and found me easily. She knew I could walk all day and never leave property owned by a relative. A mass network of folks were significantly invested in my well-being. Today, becoming a mass network of concern for teens is the job of the church. So few young people live in a setting like my growing-up days where a built-in group of relations take care of them. The church must be this network for today’s young people. Teenagers need folks beyond their parents who are willing to deal with tough questions about life, God, and choices.
• Does God care what I become or what job I do?
• I want to be a teacher, but my mom says it is too hard to teach these days and it doesn’t pay well.
• My dad can’t stand the girl I’m dating. What does God think?
• I’m worried about wars in the world. Do you think I could be drafted?
• If my boyfriend loves me and I love him, why shouldn’t we sleep together?
These are examples of the many questions today’s youth face, and make no mistake: teens are asking them. However, the church does not seem to respond. If we respond, the answer seems to be, “let’s go to a theme park” or “how about pizza and a Christian concert?” Responses to deep questions of life do not come from a hot new curriculum or a great website. The answers come from getting our lives intimately involved in the lives of young people in our church. It means immersing ourselves in the messiness of adolescence. No longer do most teenagers have extended family with whom to explore these questions. Parents are not to blame. Teenagers rarely go only to their parents to explore the great questions of life. Part of adolescent development is discovery: “Who am I in relation to the greater world outside of my parents and siblings?” Also, and I’m speaking as a parent, parents are so intimately connected with the situation that it is often difficult to offer unbiased advice or simply listen without commentary.
How does this relate to calling? Church leaders are realizing that the ministry pool is drying up. We want young people to choose ministry as a vocation, so we seek teenagers who seem the nicest, the best speakers, or the ones who deal well with older adults. We identify those youth as ministry candidates. We then encourage them to take leadership positions in the church and begin directing them to seminary. This is not working. The multiple seminaries with which I have contact tell me that half of their students are not preparing for a local church ministry. A number of others may opt not to be involved in professional ministry at all.
Clearly, the church has missed opportunities to work with young people on the issue of “calling.” To deal with such a serious subject, we must see the church as a significant voice in their important life decisions. In order to gain this status, caring adults must be willing to deal with difficult questions teens ask. As they begin to see the church as a place to explore how God has gifted them instead of a place that doles out pat answers to their deep questions, teenagers will give the church an important place in their lives. These same young people will then look to the church for advice about a vocation. At this point, through intimate relationships that involve prayer and concern, young people will again be directed toward making a vocational choice for ministry. The entire body of Christ will benefit.
Ideas for Getting the Church Significantly Involved in the Lives of Teens
PARTICIPATION IN WORSHIP
Many churches only invite teenagers to participate in worship on Youth Sunday. As young people mature, they need an opportunity to contribute to worship. This may be as simple as asking a preteen to light a Christ candle at the beginning of the service. Teenagers can successfully read Scripture and lead prayers if they receive good coaching. Forcing a young person to do this is never successful. Also, remember that embarrassment is among teens’ greatest fears.
WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN (REALLY LISTEN)
Youth today live in a world with issues, problems, and questions that teenagers a generation before could not even imagine. To be able to hear young people, we must take time, not rush to judgment, and learn their language (something similar to biblical Hebrew, but with more nuances). Listening is the key. Most of the knowledge I have gained about youth culture comes from simply listening to teenagers. A listener may be surprised how insightful they are and how spiritually savvy they can be. Young people today are bombarded with information from the Internet, television, school, parents, peers, and so on. They may not need a teacher as badly as they need a guide to help them navigate the landscape they encounter. Teenagers particularly need guides on their spiritual journey – not to tell them things, but to help them discover truths for themselves.
RITES OF PASSAGE TO MARK MOVEMENT TO ADULTHOOD
Many Protestant churches are “ritual poor,” particularly as they relate to young people. We baptize, dedicate, and confirm our children and then, once they become teenagers, we ignore them. During this stage of development, youth become able to deal with abstract ideas and seem to be most open to mystery. This is prime ground for faith development. If not properly cultivated, it can grow over with weeds and thorns or simply dry up all together. The church cannot offer one-size-fits-all programs and expect to have an influence on such passionate and spiritually thirsty teens. I think the church needs to pay attention to Jewish brothers and sisters who throughout history have made significant note of the spiritual transition of a young person into adulthood. The bar/bat mitzvah at age thirteen is an idea worth investigating. Rituals like these help teens recognize their responsibility for spiritual development and remind them of a tradition that birthed and nurtured them. Churches could benefit youth by paying attention to the need for reminding and recognition.
Tommy Justus has numerous years of youth ministry experience and currently pastors Mars Hill Baptist Church in Mars Hill, North Carolina.
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