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CHILDREN'S MINISTRY
Discipline: Does It Have a Place in Children's Sunday School?
by Pam Hester
Discipline in children’s Sunday school often brings questions and frustrations. Since children are not "required" to come to church, as they are required to attend school, many teachers feel that church activities must be fun and enjoyable. However, when "challenges" arise that threaten the enjoyment of Sunday school, teachers often feel there are no alternatives. Is there a viable use for proper discipline at church? Can a teacher use proper discipline but still show love and commitment to the children?
Sometimes it helps to remember their special calling to work with children. Looking back, can you recall the awesome responsibility you agreed to undertake? Each teacher is a part of the "spiritual guidance team" for every child in the Sunday school classroom. As they grow, you influence children’s understanding of God and humanity and what it means to be in a spiritual relationship with God. Therefore, it is vital for a teacher to maintain a regular spiritual relationship with God.
A teacher’s discipline plan begins long before the children come to the classroom. Arrive at least fifteen minutes before the children arrive. The first person in the room generally controls the class for the rest of the time spent together. Being in the classroom before the child, shows that you are the one in charge. However, if a more rambunctious child is playing in the room before you arrive, you may have a difficult time disciplining that child.
Good preparation is the key to a positive, smooth session. Show the children that they are important to you by planning ahead and gathering all the necessary materials. Children in a well-prepared classroom are more likely to be engaged, therefore eliminating disciplining needs caused by boredom. If you spend the children’s arrival time frantically preparing for the session, you miss an opportunity to greet each child and show him/her that you are glad he/she has come to Sunday school!
Plan more than you think you need. A teacher’s worst nightmare is finishing all the material planned for a session with ten minutes left on the clock. That could certainly be the longest ten minutes of a teacher’s life! Plan an extra activity from the session material or keep a file or box of "filler" activities on hand. The activity can be used when class finishes early or used with children who work faster than others.
It never hurts to have a "bag of tricks" ready for tough times. A special toy, such as a puppet, can be a quick diversion. An instrument or another item that makes an unusual sound is a good attention-getter. Have movement activities and games written on "emergency cards" available when the wiggles take over!
Even when circumstances are at their best (you are dedicated, you are prepared, you are excited), there will be discouraging days.What are some ideas to discipline appropriately?
Always be consistent. Giving too much attention to a misbehaving child can reinforce bad behavior. Say "no" in firm voice while looking the child in the eyes. If the child misbehaves again, provide a natural consequence. For younger children, time out is always an option. Take the children’s age and turn that number into minutes. Set the child in a chair away from the activity.
Make your expectations clear. Provide rules that a child can understand and follow.
Remove privileges. If a child misbehaves during an activity, give the child a couple of warnings. If he or she keeps misbehaving, do not allow the child to continue in that activity.
Distract the child with another activity or responsibility.
Separate the more lively children. Often there is a group of children who tend to be the most disruptive. Don’t put the children off by themselves, but move them away from each other.
Stand near the child and place a gentle hand on his or her shoulder. Using a calm voice, try to get them to focus. Often your calm presence will help them refocus. It often helps to get on their level, where they can’t ignore you.
Offer a reward (candy, sticker, etc.) at the beginning of the class (to be given at the end of class) to the students who participate and are considerate of others. Follow through with the offer.
Stop and clap a particular rhythm when the children get too rambunctious. Have the children repeat the rhythm until they quiet down. Or turn the lights on and off to get their attention.
Sometimes it becomes necessary to talk to the parents about their child’s misbehavior. Always approach them with love and understanding. Say something similar to the following: "We love Davey and we need your help. He has had trouble focusing today. Do you have any suggestions on helping Davey focus?"
Remember that children come to church carrying lots of baggage. How their morning went can affect them, just as it affects you! Be patient and empathize with each child. Knowing that you love and accept him or her will help the frustrated child better deal with his or her emotions.
The most important discipline principle comes from God’s example. God’s patience and unconditional love never end, no matter what we do. Our challenge is to follow this example as we serve the children each week.
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