Innovative Ways to Encourage Learning

Three-by-Three Supper Groups

Even in churches where good programs are easy to find and attend, it can sometimes be hard to make friends. Regular members may develop casual friendships in Sunday school, but it is easy for these relationships to remain superficial. New members can face a challenge getting to know others in the congregation.  Plus, most of us left to our own will simply seek out persons or families who are a lot like ourselves. Learning to be a community is one of the more important lessons a church can teach. As members develop meaningful relationships with others, even those from different backgrounds, the community of faith grows in strength and depth.

Three-by-Three Supper groups can help church members get to know other members in casual settings. Three-by-Three is a simple way of getting church folks out of their routine for a short time frame.

How the Three-by-Three Supper Group Works

The Three-by-Three plan involves forming dinner groups comprised of 3 families/persons that meet once a month for some activity (usually a meal), for 3 months, and each family or household takes the responsibility for planning one of the monthly outings. 

Three-by-Three Tips:
You may find it helpful to stress these ideas as you develop the program:
a) It is a once a month commitment to share a meal or an activity with two other families.
b) Each Three-by-Three group will meet 3 times. 
c) The groups are voluntary. They exist for those who want to participate. Encourage persons who really do not want to do this not to sign up. The groups will work best if filled with persons who wish to be involved, and are committed to attending the gatherings.
d) The group doesn't necessarily have to meet at a home for dinner. Three-by-Three's can meet at homes, restaurants, bowling alleys, go Christmas caroling, etc. Groups should select the format that works best for them. Some may wish to have an assortment of plans: month 1 – restaurant, month 2 – bowling, month 3 – dinner at a home.

Forming Groups:
a) Promote the event at least a month before its launch.
b) The groups can be formed within a Sunday school class or existing church group, or can be offered to the overall congregation. Alternately, offer the ability to sign up for a Three-by-Three group by “generation,” and arrange groups by young adult, median adult and senior adult categories.
c) Interested folks can simply contact the church office or mail in a brief form indicating their interests.
d) Establish a deadline for signing up.
e) Once the deadline has passed, randomly pick three households to form a group or pick a time after a worship service to draw three households from a hat. There are many number of ways groups can be formed. Depending on your church’s size, and the number of groups being formed, select an approach that works best for your congregation.

Once the groups form, the administrating is pretty much over.  Good groups have a better chance of forming with less interference from the church as an organization. Don't impose what the groups should do or need to do. Some of the groups will form long-term bonds. Some won't. If your church is growing, consider making this an annual event to help assimilate new members.

Sometimes we forget that “fellowships” are learning opportunities about key Christian values. As persons learn to fellowship together, they learn about acceptance, humor, humility, hospitality, forgiveness, and to celebrate one another’s unique gifts and perspectives. Help make this point by inviting one or more Three-by-Three participants to make a brief statement during worship or mid-week services. Ask them to reflect on what they have learned about Christian community through the Three-by Three-groups. Hopefully, the entire congregation will grow through the effort.