Bo Prosser tells a story of the first time he attended a training event for teaching youth. The speaker began, “Don’t be afraid of teenagers. You must remember, they are just big kids with almost-adult bodies. You can make a teenager do just about anything you want them to do.” “I walked out of the training,” Bo remembers. “I was so angry with the speaker!”

Teenagers are special! We thrive off their energy and zest for life. They are not children. Even young adolescents have moved beyond childhood and are racing toward maturity. While they may act childish sometimes, they are no longer children. People who treat teens as “big kids” miss how special youth are.

Teenagers are experiencing changes. Certainly, their bodies are growing into adulthood, but most them struggle emotionally to understand their bodies, feelings, and actions. These are years of great change. Our job is to help teenagers understand some of what is happening in their lives and cope with the changes they face. People who see teens as people with “almost-adult” bodies miss how special youth are.

Certainly, teenagers can be “made” to do just about anything. But that doesn’t make it right! Manipulative messages bombard our youth. Madison Avenue, sports teams, alcohol and tobacco companies, and countless other media target them. Their friends try to influence them. Even their parents sometimes try to manipulate them. Somebody must stand up for teens. They need an honest voice, a voice of integrity and trust. Those who would try to “make” teens do almost anything miss how special youth are.

Youth are a special group of people. Adolescence is a time of great energy and enthusiasm. The youth with whom we work need to hear mature voices of reason. Teens today are searching for role models who have integrity. They are not looking to be manipulated. They are looking for leadership.

Adolescent learners with whom we work are special too. Youth are eager to learn, eager to express, eager to create. This makes teaching teenagers easy. However, youth are also eager to interact with friends, eager to challenge boundaries, and eager to make their own way. This makes teaching teenagers challenging.

Adolescent development needs direction, not manipulation. Today’s young people are street-savvy. They know when they are being manipulated. They know when someone makes false claims. They can see through a phony persona; they are not swayed by religious rhetoric.

Be “real” with your youth! Tom was a challenging youth learner. He was into the culture of his day. He came from an affluent family. He had everything a kid could want except an understanding of his faith. Tom and his youth minister spent many days together sharing about life. The minister tried to help him grasp some understanding about the importance of being a person of faith. Sometimes in this sharing Tom would fuss, sometimes he would curse (to see the youth minister’s reaction), and sometimes he would make mature observations.

One day, Tom said to his youth minister, “Why can’t more ministers be like you? Too many ministers cover up their lives with God-talk and unrealistic expectations. You are real! The kids at church know that we can talk to you about anything. We know you won’t judge us or talk down to us. Why can’t more ministers be real?”

Wow! Tom humbled his youth minister and teaches us all a valuable lesson. Youth want to see a real witness of faith. Youth want to know that we struggle just like they struggle. Youth also want to know that we survive, maybe even thrive, in and through our faith. They want to know how they can survive/thrive too.

Being real with youth means we guide their development, not script their lives. Being real with youth means we tell them honestly what we think while allowing them to form their own thoughts. Being real with youth means we share biblical truths with integrity instead of twisting Scripture to fit our motives. Being real with youth means we listen to their stories and not violate their trust in us. Being real with youth means we are their friends without reverting to our own adolescent behaviors.

Being real isn’t easy, but Jesus gave us the model for being real! Jesus showed us how to be childlike without being childish. He showed us how to confront sin while loving sinners. He showed us how to teach with integrity and with loving challenges. Jesus showed us how to teach with stories and songs instead of a boring lecture prepared the night before. Jesus showed us how to teach with the needs of the learners in mind rather than dumping our agenda on our listeners. He showed us that true community could develop as teachers share honestly from their personal struggles. Jesus modeled for us how to grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and people. So must we!

In today’s postmodern culture, youth are searching desperately for someone who will be open and honest. In today’s market-driven society, youth need someone who will treat them like a friend, not a consumer. In today’s frenzied lifestyles, youth hope beyond hope for someone to slow down and sit and share. In a world marked by virtual reality, youth urgently seek someone and something that is real.

Be ready for youth! For all the years of my ministry, my guiding mission/vision statement has been “People go where they know they’ve been prepared for and are cared for!” This statement is truer today than ever, especially when we focus on young people.

How many of us have sat through boring, one-dimensional, non-interactive Bible studies? These studies do little more than fulfill the obligation of the teaching assignment. We have in our possessions the good news about life, yet we treat this good news as if it were just another piece of information!

Every week, keep in mind that people go where they know they are prepared for and cared for. We’ll have more to say about this later in the book, but understand that youth know whether or not you have prepared for them. They know if you care about them or not. You must do as much preparing and caring outside the classroom as you do inside the classroom. “Prepared for and cared for” will happen in the context of attending teenagers’ sports games, school dramas, parades, and pageants. “Prepared for and cared for” means you understand some of their language, relate to some of their TV shows, know their favorite celebrities, listen to their music, and know their movies. Being ready for youth is more than simply “getting a lesson together.”

Being ready isn’t easy, but Jesus modeled “prepared for and cared for.” He showed us how to be attentive by the way he shared with the woman at the well. He showed us how to be caring in the patient ways he dealt with the apostles. He modeled sensitivity to others as he brought Lazarus back from the grave. He modeled an awareness of physical needs as he fed the 5,000. Jesus modeled “prepared for and cared for” with everyone around him. So must we!

This generation is filled with high-tech gadgets; youth need high touch too. Today’s youth know much more about technology than we do. “Prepared for and cared for” gives us the opportunity to be personal and relevant with teens in order to touch them with God’s love.

Many of today’s youth are characterized as “latchkey-kids,” meaning they have basically helped to raise themselves. As they come to our churches, let us receive them with open arms. Let us reach out to these youth who have had to find community over the Internet, through cable television, and over cell phones. Let us be the reality of God’s love in their world of ambiguity and anonymity.

Be responsive to your youth! When you are real and ready, young people will seek you out. They will come seeking answers to complex questions. They will come looking for truth amid confusing and conflicting solutions. Too many of them have been pushed aside as irrelevant. Too many of them have had unrealistic demands placed on them by a single parent. Too many of them feel neglected and lonely. They are testing to see if you will respond to them.

Their tests will come in the form of challenges to your faith. They want to know what you think about sexual activity. They want to know your ideas on the good and evil of money. They want to know how your faith deals with pain and suffering. They want to know why bad things happen to good people. They want to know where God is amid the tragedy and chaos on earth.

Being responsive isn’t easy, but Jesus certainly showed us how to be responsive. He was patient and understanding with each question the apostles asked. He showed responsiveness every time Peter almost got it right. Jesus even had time for a woman who barely touched the hem of his garment. He loved the unlovable. He cared for the unpopular. Jesus even went to them instead of waiting on them to seek him out. So must we!

Adolescence is a tough time. Shifting social structures, shifting family structures, and changing bodies and minds characterize the teen years. One minute you are with the “in” group, and the next minute you’re an outsider. One minute your parents are together, and the next minute they may be separating. One minute your body is that of a child, and the next minute you’re dealing with adult features and adult feelings. One minute you’re cute when you act out, and the next minute you’re annoying. There are so many shifts and changes during the teenage years.

Some place has to provide a safe haven for processing these changes. Church should be that place! Amid shifting cultural norms, let the church represent “sanctuary” and “community” in the best sense of these words. Let us love one another with truth and grace.

Someone has to be a safe and trusted resource to help teens process these changes. Church leaders and teachers should be those resources! As they experience maturing bodies, confusing emotions, and shifting thoughts, let us be the “solid rock” of understanding and guidance.

This book is an attempt to help those who work with young people. Our intention is not to prescribe for you an out-of-the-box approach or present a one-size-fits-all Bible model. We will not even outline three points and a prayer to help you teach.

Instead, we present a “cafeteria” of ideas that apply to youth and can help you grow as a teacher, leader, worker, or parent of young people. Pick and choose what you need as if you were in line at a cafeteria. While we based this writing on the issues of a Sunday school class, you can use the ideas in any youth teaching/learning event. Take the ideas presented here and apply them to your teaching/learning/leading event. Our desire is for you to learn from what we have learned.

One purpose for writing results from our years of trying to encourage, affirm, train, and walk beside the many youth teachers and youth workers with whom we have worked. To all of you who have been co-laborers with us, God’s best as you continue on this pathway.

Our other purpose for writing results from our years of working with teenagers. During those times of encouraging, affirming, training, and walking beside the many teens, they have taught us much about how to be better teachers. To all of you who have been co-learners with us, thank you for the grace you’ve given us when we’ve not been very good teachers.

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