Books

Tapestries: Words of Devotion for the Second Half of Life

Preface

We did not weave the web of life. We are but a strand in it. —Chief Seattle

For decades each of us has been the creator of a rich and colorful weaving: the tapestry of our lives. When someone begins a weaving, the first step is to warp the loom. The warp threads are the vertical stationary fibers that give the weaving its enduring foundation. In our lives, these threads are our families, communities, values handed down to us, and beliefs about life and death. After warping the loom, it is time to weave with colorful, pliant weft threads. These threads are the people we have encountered and loved and the experiences that have brought us joy, sorrow, and growth. There is no limit to the creativity manifested in the patterns we weave from these life events. Tapestries are long-lasting pieces of art, and even though they may wear thin in places or contain a few flaws, that only adds to their richness and enduring beauty. Some of the greatest weavers in the world are the Navajos. When they finish weaving a blanket or a rug, which is framed by a solid color, they carefully weave one thread of a different color through this frame. The thread is called a “spirit line,” and it creates a path of escape for any part of the weaver’s spirit that may have been caught inside the weaving. What a wonderful metaphor for finishing our life’s tapestry.

The 200 meditations in this book are written for those weaving their way through the second half of life. I hope you will find helpful threads that can make your weaving brighter and more beautiful with each passing day.

Age Before Beauty

The golden age is before us, not behind us. —St. Simon

As young people, we were taught always to be polite to the elderly. Now we are the ones who are frequently asked if we would like our groceries taken to the car or if we would like our shopping bags packed lightly. We should be pleased with such courtesy, but often we wonder, “Do I really look like I am incapable of doing this for myself?” Getting older sneaks up on us. One day we are treated like robust and vigorous people, and then in what seems to be in a twinkling of an eye, younger people give us unsolicited assistance and condescending looks. “Age before beauty” somehow implies that if you have the first, you can’t have the second. Maybe the best approach to those who seem condescending is to take advantage of their kindness and consider it a perk that our age and our beauty rightfully deserve.

Age like distance adds a double charm. —Oliver Wendell Holmes

Aloneness

In solitude where we are least alone. —Lord Byron, Childe Herold

We are all aware of how many lonely people there are in our world. They are not only the homeless who have no warm place to sleep or the old people living in nursing homes. The lonely surround us every day, and we can often tell who they are by looking into their eyes. We all have lonely moments when we wish there was someone around. When we are by ourselves and feel the darkness of loneliness around us, it is hard to see ourselves as part of something bigger than our own daily lives. Albert Einstein called this common feeling of separation “a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.” He felt this delusion created a prison and that our major task was to escape from it. If we give up our insolating thinking and our isolated ways, we will be able see that we are a part of a whole and are eternally linked together. Allowing our compassion to reach out to all living creatures can help the loneliness abate, for then we can feel connection with all the facets of our world.

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. —John Muir

Altars

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. —Albert Einstein

When we enter many homes throughout the world, the first thing we encounter is the family altar. In Japan we see the family ancestors being honored; in India and Nepal we see images of Shiva, Krishna, Kali, or other Hindu deities. In Buddhist homes there may be a beautiful painting of the Lord Buddha lit by butter lamps, and in Roman Catholic homes throughout the world the altar may hold a statue of the Virgin Mary surrounded by candles that burn all through the day and night. The altar is the heart of these homes, and its beat resonates throughout the house. In homes where religion might not be the major focus of a family’s daily life, we still see altars, but of a different nature. They may be on a bookshelf where pictures of the family or a collection of family treasures are displayed. Creating altars, whether of a secular or a religious nature, allows us to create a space that is distinct and different from the rest of our homes. These altars can remove us from our mundane thoughts and actions and take our spirits to a place where we feel loved, protected, and comforted.

An altar is a shield, stronger than a fortress. —Aeschylus

Amnesty

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. —Gandhi

To grant amnesty means to pardon someone or offer them forgiveness. Amnesty comes from the Greek word amnestia, which means oblivion. Often we carry around resentments and grudges for such a long time that we may forget the offense, but we continue to nurture the emotion. Not being able to forgive another can keep a wound from healing. In fact, it allows the injury to fester. Saying “I forgive you” releases our hearts from a prison that has the strongest bars. Our souls cannot afford to be enclosed in a space called “unforgiveness.” To whom do you need to grant amnesty?

Write the wrongs that are done to you in the sand but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. —Arabic Proverb (adapted by VanEkeren)

Arrogance

Every man will fall who though born a man, proudly presumes to be a superman. —Sophocles

The ancient Greeks used the word hubris to mean a lack of self-knowledge, excessive pride, arrogance, and presumptuousness. They believed it was a universal failing but would not go unpunished. The theme of hubris was developed in their theater and political philosophy. Perhaps the Greeks knew that for the first democracy in the world to succeed, hubris had to be held in check. Today we often blame the rich and famous for arrogance and excessiveness, but hubris can be found in each and every one of us. The Greeks believed the only antidote to this human failing was to lead a life of moderation and self-reflection—thus their famous principles of “Nothing to excess” and “Know thyself.” When we feel self-absorbed and expect to get whatever we desire, we must remember that pride and arrogance do not bring success or allow for much humility or self-knowledge.

Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses. —Democritus

Awards

The human heart is made for universal praise. —Brother David Steindl-Rast

Throughout our lives we receive many awards: perfect attendance, citizenship, scouting, athletic, and academic. It is fun to go back through our lives, picturing what the award actually looked like and how we felt when we accepted it. It is often easier, however, to remember the awards we wanted to win but another received. It is unfortunate that our disappointments are often more vivid memories than our successes. What is an award you would like to receive at this moment in your life? What are your achievements and what are you working hard to do? Would you like a Good Samaritan, a Friend to the Environment, or maybe a Nurturing of Neighbors Award? Even though it is wonderful to receive recognition, it is often enough to know we have tried our hardest to do our best and that this hard work has allowed us to deeply touch the lives of others.

Maybe one these days I’ll be able to give myself a gold star for being ordinary and maybe one of these days I’ll give myself a gold star for being extraordinary—for persisting. And maybe one day I won’t need to have a star at all. —Sue Bender