An excerpt from 10 Gifts Your Children Will Grow to Appreciate
by Lynn P. Clayton

It seems to me a wonderful case can be made that the greatest gift God gives each person is his or her personality. The New Testament term for soul is psyche from which we build the English words psychology and psychiatry. Psychiatry means the healing of the soul. Soul is the essence of our being—it is who we are. When the Bible talks about saving the soul, it is not talking about some disembodied spirit, but about the essence of who we are. Our psyche is everything we are emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

God gives every person this psyche. Each person is more than a compilation of his parents' genes and chromosomes. Each person is more than a product of her environment. These elements contribute to a person's personality and behavior, but each person is more. Each person is a creation of God. God's plan for our lives includes becoming our best selves--our redeemed selves. The cliché "Be patient, God isn't finished with me yet" is true. We can never rest, saying, s is who I am." We are always becoming, and we are gifting our children so they can become more like God's goal for them.

If children feel cherished for this psyche, they can venture forward in life, determined to make the best of who they are, while eliminating the negatives that keep them from being their best and doing their best. Children feel cherished when...

they have a sense of being dear to their parents
they know their parents enjoy being with them
they know their parents appreciate them for who they are
their parents affirm their character, personality, and positive values
their parents encourage them to be their best selves
their parents do not compare them to others

The gift of being cherished is appreciated immediately by children, but they grow to appreciate it even more as they grow older.

Be alert for ways you can affirm your children, who they are as well as what they do. When one of your children does something you think is right, or good, or noble, try to look below the surface of that action to the nature of the child that sparked the action. For example, "John, I saw the way you helped Bill when he was being picked on. I think you showed your sense of fairness, and I want to tell you I was proud of you."

A newspaper ran a feature article about a highly successful, greatly admired lawyer. In that article the reporter related a story the lawyer had told him. When the lawyer was five, his grandfather was teaching him how to drive a horse pulling a plow. The grandfather explained to the lad the importance of holding on to the reigns that controlled the horse. The boy was practicing when the plow horse, apparently sensing a novice, broke and ran across the pasture. Remembering his grandfather's exhortation to always hold the reigns, he hung on tenaciously as the horse ran across the field. The horse stopped when he reached the fence, and the grandfather was able to run to the horse. When he got there, the boy was beaten, scraped, scratched, and cut from being dragged through the brush and over the rocks. But he still held the reigns. "My grandfather said that episode didn't speak well of my intelligence, but it did speak well of my determination." The story became part of the bonding the grandson enjoyed with his grandfather. He felt cherished by his grandfather. His grandfather's rather two-edged comment instilled in the then-small boy a sense that he could, by determination, achieve. And did he.

Lynn Clayton is the author of "10 Gifts Your Children will Grow to Appreciate." To order, go to the online bookpage or call 1-800-747-3016.

 

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