1) "It’s for the best." (How do you know it’s for the best?)

2) "It’s all in God’s plan." (How do you know what God wanted?)

3) "I’m glad she’s no longer suffering." (Let the surviving loved one say this before you do.)

4) "It’s time to get on with your life." "Move on." "Get over it."

5) Interruptions. Allow the grieving person to talk about their loss.

6) Reminders of the faults of the deceased person.

7) Unsolicited advice. Especially avoid advice on what or how the grieving person should feel.

8) Criticism or judgment. The person needs to be able to trust you to hear their grief with an open heart and mind.

9) Some people tend to avoid a grieving person because they aren’t sure what to say. You can always listen.

Daniel Bagby is the author of "Crisis Ministry", published by Smyth & Helwys Publishing. To order, go to the online bookpage or call 1-800-747-3016.

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