365 Ways to Criticize the Preacher

Foreword

"Pastor" is a nice word. But I’m from the South, and we call ‘em preachers.

I pray people will buy this book for their preachers and give it as a gift of healing, as a token of their apology for being so confoundedly awful and insufferable and nit-picking and judgmental and bizarre and pitiful and self-absorbed.

It is intended as a gift for seminary students who dream their impending careers will be miraculous gifts from God wherein they serve the elect with love, and their lives are uninterrupted scenes of brilliant preaching, tender-hearted pastoring, and light and lovely appreciation.

I am not bitter and cynical. The church is the body of Christ, and it operates as a font of light and love and joy and creation and freedom more often than it could if it were not the body of Christ. If the church were simply a misguided, deluded tangle of fighting, overgrown babies it would have gone out of existence 1900 years ago. Radio Bible teacher Steve Brown puts it even more succinctly. "If a business operated like the church, it would be broke in 30 days.”

The church is my spiritual mother. My life springs from her. I am not writing as a former preacher embittered by my bad experiences, but rather as a working preacher who adores my folks (some more than others). I wrote this book not to make any of them feel bad, but rather to give us all a good laugh, a moment of renewal as we press on with our eyes on the prize.

But humor is always dangerous. I have done radio commentary, published newspaper columns, and spoken in public for more than 30 years. Jokes, wisecracks, smarting-off — all of this is fodder for misunderstanding. Feelings get hurt. Apologies have to be offered. Human relationships are messy enough to make some of us wish we had never heard of humor, especially humor that stands a chance of being misunderstood.

It’s worth the risk. P. T. Barnum said he would rather entertain a nation than run it, and that reflects a mere smidgen of the good that can be done by those who make us laugh.

So, enjoy, but understand there is a risk. Know that I laugh most at myself, and when I find myself laughing more at others than myself, I always know it’s time to make an adjustment.

Any similarity between the characters in this book and actual people is purely coincidental.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. Amen.